Bullmastiffs & Divorce

One of my coworkers alerted me to an unusual story when I walked into work this morning.
He said, “Karen, I have two words for you: dog sperm.”
"What did you just say?" I replied.
Laughing, he told me to search the wire for a story about dog sperm. So I did.
The story’s title, as it appears on our screen, was, “DogSpermDispu.”
I laughed and checked it out. Here’s a quick recap:
According to the Associated Press, a judge presiding over a divorce case experienced a fight over dog sperm.
The divorcing couple had apparently bred Bullmastiffs, and though they divided up the six dogs they owned without issue, they’re now fighting over who owns the sperm from three of their dogs that’s being stored at a center.
After reading it, I turned to my co-worker and told him I wasn’t surprised.
“Bullmastiffs are expensive dogs,” I told him. “I think they usually cost a couple thousand dollars.”
He was surprised, so I thought I’d pass along a little information about these monstrous and gorgeous dogs.
My Aunt and Uncle have had two Bullmastiffs in the past. From my experience, they’re very majestic dogs.
According to AKC standards, the dogs should max out at about 130 pounds.
But my Aunt and Uncle’s last one weighed closer to 200 pounds. The size of its head dwarfed my own.
Both of their Bullmastiffs were expensive, both to purchase and to keep healthy.
Their second dog had a massive growth spurt when he was still a puppy that was quite costly. He put on more weight than his bones were ready to handle and had to have surgery to repair his shoulder.
The bottom line is, Bullmastiffs aren’t for everyone. They’re big dogs, and like many big dogs, their sheer size makes it more expensive to maintain good health — from the amount of food they need to the amount of vet visits they’ll need.
Personally, I’ve always wanted a Bullmastiff. One day, maybe I’ll be well off enough to own one.
I imagine that breeding Bullmastiffs is pretty lucrative. The cost that breeders put into the dogs is certainly reflected in the steep price that can be charged for a puppy.
So is it really a surprise that a divorcing couple would argue about who owns the dog sperm?
No.
But it is funny.